To Say The Words
by violetsunshine
Summary: Dean makes a promise to himself and keeps it by telling certain people those three little words. COMPLETE
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I do not own Supernatural.

This story has more to it…this is just the beginning. For some reason I seem to be having a problem keeping it all in one tense so if you find a mistake, I apologize.

**To Say The Words**

To some the words "I love you" roll off the tongue as easily as their name. For others, they somehow hold the weight of the world in the three tiny words. They lay in the back of minds for years, untouched and too heavy to move. Dean Winchester is one of those people. The words haunt him at times. They are never that far from his mind. In several instances when they should have been said somehow silence has sufficed.

He lays there in a puddle of his blood and thinks of the people he should have said them to. Number one of course is Sam.

Sometimes his love for Sam is crushing and powerful. It is his driving force in moments of true terror, when he knows somewhere right now Sam needs his help. It is the reason he will forever be the protector. It is the reason his pain, his fears are always after Sam's. It is the only reason sometimes for waking up. Dean doesn't know if that is the way it should be, living for someone else. But he figures for him, it is the only way to be. The only way to exist is to look after his geek brother.

He studied the bloodied gash across his torso for a moment. He laid his head back down. Number two would be Cassie.

He could just look at her and fall in love. For those couple of months so long ago, she was like a dream to him. So effortless in all she did. So perfect. For if she had any flaw, he could only find it to be something that made her more beautiful in the end. He had told her the secret, told her the truth and in that instant he had never felt so good, so free, so honest. But of course his happiness was short-lived. She had thought he was crazy.

He sighed and couldn't help closing his eyes. He kept telling himself not to fall asleep but fatigue washed over him like an ocean. Number three would be his father. John Winchester, that elusive soul so perfect in Dean's eyes. His father is his only true measure of a man. All he wants to be: A good man and a good hunter. Dean would do anything for his father. Of course, there had been times when he had resented this life, this little hollow carved out of the world. But in the end, he could not be like Sam. He could not try to escape because this…this job…hunting…was his escape.

He groaned and studied the forest around him. He could just see the stars peeking out from underneath the fringe of the trees. His body was screaming. The deep gash was burning and blood was still escaping through his fingers. He swallowed thickly and heard the voice he knew would come.

"Dean!" Sam's voice rang through the darkness. The trees parted and Sam was suddenly right there beside him, where Dean always knew he would be. Sam's face was bathed in panic and in fear.

"Oh God, Dean. I've got to get you to a hospital." Already he was gathering Dean into his arms.

"No…" he croaked. "Let me walk." Sam looked at him like he was crazy.

"Are you sure?" He helped him stand. All of a sudden, it didn't seem like such a good idea anymore. The world swirled and Dean passed out.

Thanks for reading and if you liked it check back for updates! 


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I do not own Supernatural.

Thank you to the wonderful reviewers! I wanted to have this posted a long time ago, but I was sick this week. I hope you like the second part and there is a third part that I'm not quite finished writing yet. I hope you like it!

Chapter Two

Dean opened his eyes. The dim light of the early morning was hidden behind thick hospital blinds. His stomach wasn't burning anymore and for that he was grateful. He glanced down to see Sam's head resting beside his hand. His tall frame was stretched uncomfortably between a hospital chair and the bed. Dean sighed and ran his hand though Sam's hair. He knew it would be hard to swallow his macho, no emotion routine that he had adopted since childhood, but he wanted to stick with what he had thought about when he was bleeding into the earth of that dark forest. The importance of the words outweighed feeling uncomfortable. He put his hand over Sam's and let himself drift back to sleep.

A couple of days later, Dean pulled the Impala into a gas station. They were halfway across Wisconsin, burning up the highway. Sam started the gas and Dean excused himself to the restroom. He stepped inside and his face twisted at the foul smell of the dirty bathroom. He didn't want Sam to hear him though, so he clicked the lock in place. This was the only place he could really be alone. He dialed the number and sighed listening to the very familiar voicemail message.

"You've reached John Winchester, if this is an emergency please call…" The message beeped and suddenly he was very nervous. He coughed self-consciously.

"Hey Dad, this is Dean…uh…" He shut his eyes tight.

"I just wanted to…. to say…that…I…uh, I love you." The last words came out in a rush and Dean ended the call quickly. He let out a breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding. He studied himself in the cloudy mirror for a moment, took a deep breath and walked back to the car.

That night, he had trouble sleeping. He was glad that Sammy hadn't though. It was five a.m. and Sam had slept through the night under the watchful eyes of his brother. He had never tossed or turned or called out. Dean was sure it had to be a record of some sort.

He pulled on some clothes quietly and walked out of the room into the first early morning sunshine beginning to cast the motel in orange light. It was warm here and he had to admit it was beautiful. He leaned against the Impala and pulled out his phone. He knew it was early but he also knew somehow that this was the right time. He dialed the number. He had half expected it to go straight to voicemail, but it didn't and on the third ring a sleepy voice answered.

"Hello?"

"Hey Cassie, its Dean." Silence.

"Dean…what's wrong? Are you okay?" Her voice sounded a little scared and a little questioning, as if she didn't quite believe it was him.

"I'm okay. I'm fine, so is Sam. I just wanted to tell you something. I…uh…you know you were my first real girlfriend or whatever and I don't know…um…if you ever knew how much I cared about you. I loved you Cassie and a part of me still loves you."

"Oh, Dean. I love you too."

"You do?" Somehow Dean had never thought that the words would come back to him.

"Of course I do. There will always be a place for you in my heart. We really had something back then…we've just got very different lives." She paused. "Dean, I am so glad you called me but…I've simply got to go back to sleep."

He chuckled. "Yeah, alright, goodbye Cassie."

"Bye, Dean." He flipped the phone shut. He smiled and couldn't help but shake his head in disbelief. Cassie loved him too? He just kept smiling.


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: I do not own Supernatural.

Note: This is the last part! I hope you enjoy it! It's short but I like how it turned out. Thank you to the reviewers!

He slipped back into the room and his face wrinkled in concern. Sam lay on the bed thrashing and kicking. He sat down beside him and shook his shoulders lightly.

"Sammy! Sam!" Sam's eyes flew open and he sat up gasping. He ran a shaky hand through his hair.

"Another nightmare, right?"

"Yeah."

"A different one or…?"

"Yeah, I mean…it wasn't about Jess."

"Well?"

"Well what?"

"What was it about Sammy?"

"I don't want to talk about it. Don't call me Sammy."

Dean sighed. He wasn't going to push him. He had this own things to say.

"You know Sammy, when I was in that forest…I was laying there, bleeding all over and, uh I really didn't think I was going to make it out of there."

"Dean…"

"And I was thinking about all the stuff I should have said to people and you know who the first person I thought of was?" Sam shook his head slightly and continued to study his hands.

"It was you, Sammy." Sam looked up, his hazel eyes shining.

"Dean, stop." It was merely a whispered plea, yet one that tore at a big brother's heart.

"Why Sammy?" Sam looked away again.

"My nightmare…it was about the shapeshifter."

"Oh, Sam." Dean sighed and all the perfectly formed words he wanted to say drifted away. The brothers sat in silence for a moment. Dean studied Sam and Sam studied his hands clutching at the thin motel blanket. Dean put his arm around Sam's shoulders and sighed again.

"Sammy…you're my brother and I love you. I'm sorry that damn thing messed with your mind."

"Me too." Dean patted his brother on the shoulder and stood.

"Well are you hungry? I'm going to go grab some breakfast."

"Yeah…please don't bring back anything too greasy." Dean flashed him a grin and opened the door.

"Oh…and Dean?" The older man stopped and turned in the doorway.

"Yeah?"

"I love you, too." Dean smiled and shut the door behind him.


End file.
